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Choose Your Own Novella: Part 2 june 8 2004, 03:49 am
submitted by: normal mc

Editor's Note: If you haven't already, go ahead and read part one. Now, on with the program...



She wasn’t buying my faux- shock. She knew I knew. She was mad that I knew. I was mad that we hadn’t fucked since Thanksgiving. She knew I was mad about that the minute she said it. I wondered if she was mad about that too, but I’m afraid of even guessing at this point.

That we hadn't fucked in so long should have been a red flag. We used to hump all the time. Dry hump, wet hump, rump hump with a sump pump. We fucked like teenagers - it was always quick, awkward and unfulfilling. But the sheer volume made up for it, I should've followed up on that train of though, the fucking, but I moved on.

“What happened to the cell phone I bought you?” I could switch topics deftly, I could.
“I lost it at the gym.”
“You still go to the gym?” If she was, how would I know? Haven't seen her naked in... okay, I'll drop it.

Crackle! A big, old, fuzzy speaker crackle ruined the moment. Flo had turned on the radio. More morning zoo fun? Spared… the dulcet tones of none other than, yup, you guessed it – Phil motherfuckin’ Collins. ‘She’s An Easy Lover’. Three cheers for irony.

“No.”
“Oh. Then how do you know you left it there?”
“They keep calling me to tell me I left it there.”
“Makes sense.”

Where is my waffle? Where is my coffee, God damn it? I’m done with this cup. Where is the point of this breakfast, Ali? Where the fuck is my mind?


“Listen, I’m moving to Maine.”
“Now?”
“Actually yeah.” She flipped her hair to one side. She had Elizabeth Shue circa ‘Karate Kid’ curls. That’s why I had asked her out in the first place.
“Are you gong to have breakfast first?” I coughed that line out, as I butted out a cigarette.
“No.”

I lit another smoke immediately.

“Why did you order anything then?”
“I thought I could stay, I thought I had it in me and face you like an adult but I can’t. So, I’m gonna go…”
“So you’re leaving me with the check too?”
“Sorry.”

She started to slip on her coat, she reached across the table and grabbed my cigarettes. I didn’t stop her.

“Maybe you should stop by the gym and get that phone so I could call you?”
“I hate cell phones.” Wow, glad I knew that before I shelled out for one. I then realized I had been paying for it too, this whole time.

“Can you tell me why you’re moving to Maine?” I wanted to know. Funny thing is that I wasn’t that upset. It wasn’t that shocking. I saw it coming, but I always pictured California. Maine is just two states away.

“I’m going to live with my sister and her husband for awhile, help her with the house. She just had another kid, remember?”
“You didn’t tell me that.” She hadn’t told me that.

“I need more from life than what you can give me, and what you want of me is nothing I am prepared to give. We’re not completing each other.” I’ll give her Credit for sounding pretty Zen on that one, but Jerry Maguire was on TNT last night, so…
“What do you think I want from you?”
“I don’t know, but I know I don’t have it.”
“You sound pretty confident.”
“We’ll both be better off if you don’t fight this.”
“Alright.” Man, I was quick with the comebacks.
“You understand?”

She reached into her pocket as she slid out of the booth and left a slip of paper on the table. She said she was sorry, but she couldn’t explain it any better than that. Call her at this number, it was her sister’s number. She had extended the invitation to call but I knew I shouldn’t.

Flo brought the waffles. She filled my coffee. She brought Ali’s food too, putting it in the empty place setting across from me. It’s like she knew I just got dumped.

“She want more coffee?”

Fuck you, Flo. I stared at her and communicated that to her without words. The waffle sucks, the coffee is cold. And it gets better.

Another Phil Collins song came on, it wasn't Tuesday, was it? Every time I hear the same artist back-to-back on the radio not on a Tuesday, I think the worst... "Phil Collins died in a tragic gardening accident, so here on WPCX we're All-Phil, All Weekend... fare the well, gentle friend...'

“Billy, Billy don’t you lose my number…”

My name is not Billy

I left no tip. I’m never coming here again. I want to tell Flo that but something deep inside me thinks she won’t care. I want to do something drastic to let her know how much I detest this place. Nothing comes to mind, though. I was never much on dramatic acts or revenge anyway.

So after breakfast, I grabbed some cigarettes at the bodega and I saw it, right there on the front page - he did die. I bought the paper and a cup of coffee, my 5th cup already. The clerk wanted small talk.

"Hear 'bout that guy from that move? What was it, that dude..." He pounded the counter, wracking his brain.
"Buster?"
"Yeah, that's it. That movie sucked."
"I heard he sang a bit too."
"Really?"

Up the stairs, jacket still wet with snow, I tripped. I fell face first into the top step right before my door. Coffee spilled, paper ruined, I'm running my hand across my mouth and I feel it. I just lost a front tooth. The stairs are filthy with rock salt from the steps out front, it's a lost cause, I'll never find it. I fumbled with the keys, wanting to get in to check the damage in the mirror.

The apartment was still pretty dark. I had left my stereo on. Phil Collins on repeat. So, bloodied face and wet, dumped and without direction, I walk into this…

"Now take a look at me now... 'cause there's just an empty space..."

I flip on the lights, head to the bathroom. Yep, it's gone. My smile is ruined. I rinse a bit with some Scope and wonder how much better this day could get. This is the day before the day, I guess. Better get ready. Walking over to the phone to call the dentist, I glance and it seems something is missing.

Where the fuck is my dog?





comments...   add a comment...


dj tanner
dj tanner 4789 posts
06.08.2004
comment no. 1

Man, this is good!


blackwidow
blackwidow 1056 posts
06.08.2004
comment no. 2

I really like this story. Now I'm going to be anxious for part 3!

(He didn't need that frigid beeyatch anyway....)


kid dexterity
kid dexterity 1186 posts
06.08.2004
comment no. 3

And by "good" they mean "wholly depressing." That is some cold shit.


normal mc
normal mc 7472 posts
06.25.2004
comment no. 4

Perhaps you'd like me to lighten it up in the next installment? It can be done.


farlupulous
farlupulous 3353 posts
06.25.2004
comment no. 5

Something with clowns porn and ice cream and recreational drugs please.





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